999 Problems

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2019-11-14T01:40:27Z

A place for memes and PSLs to live

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21stcenturyguy @ 2012-04-23T20:38:00

2018-04-24T00:39:04Z

DAD The Dad’s primary objectives are to protect, nurture, troll, and ultimately embarrass their offspring. Guild Location: Man Cave favored weapon: Bad Jokes, the thermostat favored armor:Sandals with socks, dad caps strengths: Dads gain advantages when around their children, whether they be biologically related or adopted. . weaknesses: Similarly, they are susceptible to children, and will put themselves in harm’s way to protect (or embarrass) them. Also weak to Mom Skills. physical power: D…for ‘Dad’! magical power: A… for the next letter for Dad! attack potency: D…you know the drill! healing potency: D…yup physical defense: Y… for ‘why are you even surprised?’ magical defense: D speed: D
EXP	SKILL	DESCRIPTION
0000	Wrapped Around Their Finger	50% penalty to resisting persuasion by children. Sure, you can have dessert before dinner, sweetie.
0050	SuperDad!	Can copy the 100Exp skill of another class. 75% chance of success in the presence of a child, 50% success rate otherwise. Fake it til you make it, Dad!.
0100	Hi Thirsty, I’m Dad!	Can produce a lukewarm potion in a juice box to give to a child in need. No, we’re not stopping at McDonalds, drink your juice.
0200	Go the Fuck to Sleep	Sleep spell. 75% effective on children, 50% effective on non-children. Listen to SLJ and go to sleep!
0350	Go Ask Mom	Can deflect a spell, request, or awkward question to another adult character. I don’t know, go ask your mother.
0500	Your PALadin	Can take the damage aimed at a child character. Damage incurred during this action is 40% reduced. Don’t worry, kiddo, Dad’s here.
0750	Papa Bear	When a child is harmed in a Dad’s presence, Papa Bear mode is activated. 50% boost in attack and pain is not felt until the perpetrator has been punished. Not on MY watch!
1000	DILF	Your wholesome family values and your rockin’ dad bod make you strangely alluring. Charm an opponent.
EXP	JOB BONUS	DESCRIPTION
0000	Dad Jokes	Maybe you were funny back in the day, but now you’re punny. Your terrible humor grows with each child you form a bond with.
EXP	MODIFIER SKILL	DESCRIPTION
0500	Trollolol	You do your other job purposefully embarrassing. Chemist with a fanny pack, Bard who only plays Jimmy Buffet songs, just the worst Dancer. 10% Bonus to skills when successfully trolling your child.
EXP	SUPREME SKILL	DESCRIPTION
3000	Call Me Daddy	Your Dad Appeal is too strong to resist. Your children finally listen to what you say. Adults…also listen to what you have to say, but sexily.

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El Nysa Overflow

2017-09-24T17:02:04Z

[We captcha our captchas.]

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El Nysa Application

2017-07-09T14:07:31Z

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IC Inbox

2017-07-09T13:57:32Z

'sup?

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How's My Driving?

2017-07-09T13:40:37Z

Comments and suggestions can go here.

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El Nysa Permissions

2017-07-09T13:31:54Z

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MOL Job Information

2017-03-09T01:11:30Z

Name: Aoi 'Santa' Kurashiki Age: 25 Gender: Male Canon: 999: Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors Canon Point: Post-True Ending Link to Application: Here Link to Permission List: Here! Moogle Name: Crash Kupo Moogle Gender: Male Limit Break: Soporil - Santa reaches into a cargo pocket and pulls out a canister of Soporil, the miracle anesthetic gas. Santa opens the canister and throws it like a grenade. The enemies (and any allies in range) fall asleep, allowing Santa to escape. Depending on the exposure to the gas, the affected parties may experience temporary amnesia about the encounter when they awaken.

Dark Knight	Mastered
Illusionist	Mastered

Dark Knight	Mastered
Illusionist	Mastered
Santa Claus	Mastered
Gambler	Mastered
Time Mage	Mastered
HELD JOB NAME	MONTHS EXP
HELD JOB NAME	MONTHS EXP
HELD JOB NAME	MONTHS EXP
HELD JOB NAME	MONTHS EXP
HELD JOB NAME	MONTHS EXP

ONION KNIGHT	4 JOBS MASTERED

Overlord
Seer

EXP ORB	4 MONTHS ACTIVE

JOB ABILITIES INFORMATION

Dark Knight

Initial	Soul Eater	Sacrifices a bit of your life energy to deal dark damages to all enemies.
One Month	Blind	Spells that may blind an enemy.
Two Months	Drain	Absorbs life energy from an enemy (mid).
Four Months	Break	Sword attack that may petrify an enemy.
Six Months	Death	Instantly kills an enemy (may fail).
Nine Months	Sacrifice	Self-destruct to kill or grievously wound enemies.
One Year	Doom	Enemy dies within four minutes. Always works (except on some bosses).

Illusionist

Initial	Imitate	Repeats the same attack an ally just used.
One Month	Disguise	Takes on the appearance and clothing of an enemy or ally.
Two Months	Levitation	Allows to levitate over the ground.
Four Months	Copies	Creates illusions of enemies or allies (up to ten).
Six Months	Vanish	Instantly teleports within a 100 foot radius.
Nine Months	Telekinesis	Attack enemies with basic telekinetic attacks.
One Year	Teleportation	Teleports to a formerly visited location.

Santa Claus

Initial	All-Knowing List	Effects vary whether the target is on the good or naughty list.
One Month	The Toy Bag	Unlocks a magical bag in which virtually anything can be stored.
Two Months	Christmas Spirit	Inspires trust in others and spreads a joyful atmosphere around.
Three Months	Jingle Bell	Shrinks self to go through chimneys or otherwise tiny passages.
Four Months	Coal Lumps	Harmless attack that hurts the target's confidence, pride and motivation.
Six Months	Holy Advent	Doubles the effectiveness of this Job in December.
Nine Months	Security Elf	Summons a Tarutaru-sized security elf to protect the character.
One Year	Letters to Santa	Capability to gift what is written on letters sent to the character.

Gambler

Initial	Dice Roll	Rolls three dices and inflicts damages to an enemy.
One Month	Slot	Summons a slot machine to attack enemies or allies.
Two Months	Deck of Cards	Picks one random card to attack or heal enemies.
Four Months	Tantalize	Inflicts Confusion on an enemy.
Six Months	Felicity	Raises the party's luck.
Nine Months	Roulette	Randomly kills an enemy or an ally.
One Year	Gambling	Turns into a gigantic card and hides among ten fake cards.

Time Mage

Initial	Slow	Halves the passage of time for the target, effectively lowering their speed.
One Month	Haste	Doubles the passage of time for the target, effectively boosting their speed.
Two Months	Flash	Allows the character to quickly appear and disappear.
Three Months	Demi	Inflicts damages equal to 25% of the enemy's current health.
Four Months	Stop	Stops the passage of time for a target or area, freezing them in time.
Six Months	Banish	Bans the target to the Interdimensional Rift.
Nine Months	Combustion	Speeds molecules up on a target to the point of causing an explosion.
One Year	Maelstrom	Reduces the health of all enemies to 10% of their current health.

JOB #6 NAME HERE

Initial	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
One Month	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
Two Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
Four Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
Six Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE.
Nine Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
One Year	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE

JOB #7 NAME HERE

Initial	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
One Month	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
Two Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
Four Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
Six Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE.
Nine Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
One Year	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE

JOB #8 NAME HERE

Initial	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
One Month	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
Two Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
Four Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
Six Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE.
Nine Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
One Year	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE

JOB #9 NAME HERE

Initial	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
One Month	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
Two Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
Four Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
Six Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE.
Nine Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
One Year	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE

JOB #10 NAME HERE

Initial	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
One Month	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
Two Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
Four Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
Six Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE.
Nine Months	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE
One Year	SKILL NAME	SKILL EXPLANATION HERE

ONION KNIGHT

One Maxed Job	Job Master	Expands the Job limit from five to ten.
Three Maxed Jobs	Multi Exp	Stored Jobs receive 1/4 of exp even when unequipped.
Five Maxed Jobs	Equipment Lore	Can equip and use the weapons and armors of any mastered Job.
Seven Maxed Jobs (LOCKED)	Double Exp	Doubles the exp obtained every months for all equipped and unequipped Jobs.
Eight Maxed Jobs (LOCKED)	Stats Transfer	Takes on the stats, strengths and weaknesses of three maxed out Jobs.
Nine Maxed Jobs (LOCKED)	Ten Skills	Allows to pick and use ten skills from any maxed Jobs.
Ten Maxed Jobs (LOCKED)	Melodies of Life	Awakens the true power of the Heroes of Light.

ADVANCED JOBS

Overlord

Initial	Rule of Two	Decreases the power of Overlords the more people use this Job.
Dark Knight Maxed	Corruption	Allows to influence the minds of those using dark power or negative emotions.
Illusionist Maxed	Lightning Storm	Attack the enemies with powerful lightnings.
Final	Unlimited Power	Temporarily increases power by 33% for each enemy killed.

Seer

Initial	Magick Frenzy	Allows user to use a spell then follow up with a regular attack.
Time Mage Maxed	Paradox	See phantoms of past events occasionally.
Illusionist Maxed	Phantasm	Allows to cast spells on two to four targets simultaneously.
Final	Premonition	Sees a glimpse of a possible future event.

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CR Chart

2016-04-20T23:50:39Z

Parkour with Knives

Crossdressing Pirate

This asshole has some tricks up their sleeve. Kinda hot. Could be useful to know.

BJs

Creepy Child

The gothling housemate. Creepy as fuck, but she’s gonna help me with the sexy calendar, so there’s that.

Grand Theft Materia

Yuffie

Kinda cute. Kinda easy. Gonna be in the calendar.

Bears Ruining School Kids

A Forgettable Protagonist

Pretty sure he was brought here by the Fire Crystal purely for schadenfreude purposes. The saddest maybe-highschool kid ever. Entertaining as shit, though.

~~Brain~~ Bleach

Old Hag

Haven’t actually met her yet. An old lady who lives vicariously through pimping out her much-younger housemates. Which, you know, do what ya gotta do to stay young. Has a samurai fetish. Might have lived during their time.

Never Getting Translated 3

Rock Star

Who the fuck wears a pink suit and a wig in public voluntarily? Seriously? He better be as talented as he makes himself out to be. ~~Still trying to figure out if he’s hot enough to be a calendar cover. Strictly for business.~~

FF VII: Oedipus Complex

Whiny Baby

Annoying brat. He’s negative help in any situation.

Final Fantasy: Dead Chocobo

That Know-it-all Kid

Thinks he knows everything about Crystals. Asshole. ~~Akane could totally own his ass.~~

Triangles: In the Sky

Zelda

Naïve as shit, but pretty cool. She’s…actually really helpful. Not the worst Hero.

A Cat Lady’s Imagination

Bibliophile

Looks boring, but has a sordid past. Might be useful. Definitely fun to poke at. Likes books way more than is normal.

90s Nostalgia...with Ghosts

Keiko

Not sure how she managed to snag a fiancé. She’s got small boobs and she’s stingy as hell with ‘em. But, she’s not the worst Hero. Kinda cool, when she’s not being a hardass.

code by cawaii

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Permission post

2016-03-07T20:03:19Z

CHARACTER NAME: Aoi 'Santa' Kurashiki
CHARACTER SERIES: 999: Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors

[OOC]

Backtagging: Yes
Threadhopping: Yes (unless specifically marked 'locked' or 'closed')
Fourthwalling: Fine
Offensive subjects: If it seems questionable, pm me?

[IC]

Hugging this character:Yes (don't expect it to be returned, though)
Kissing this character: Yes
Flirting with this character: YES
Fighting with this character: Yes
Injuring this character: Feel free to rough him up, but nothing long-lasting without discussion
Killing this character: Discuss first
Using telepathy/mind reading abilities on this character: Just be aware it may come back to haunt you.

Warnings: So much profanity, perverted comments, random facts about dumb pseudoscience, TIME SHENANIGANS

Get your own copy of the IC/OOC Permissions meme!

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Melodies of Life App

2016-03-02T03:07:33Z

Player

Name: Lisa (demonrubberducky)

Age: 27

Contact: Demonrubberducky on plurk

Other In-Game Characters: Ramza Beoulve (FFT)

Character (Original Universe)

Name: Aoi “Santa” Kurashiki

Age:24

Gender: Male

Canon: 999: Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors

Canon Point: Immediately after the ‘True Ending’

History: Wiki Link

Personality:

Santa is an asshole punk, but with a softer side for his little sister and kids like her. Even flashing back to his teenage years, Santa was cursing and questioning authority figures, all while struggling to protect and care for Akane and the other kids in the Nonary Game. He never follows an order or suggestion without first asking ‘Why should I?’ and ‘What’s it to you?’ He also tends to work alone and keep others in the dark what he is doing, demonstrated in both his acting as Akane’s ‘Santa’ and in the second Nonary game in general. Snake/Light acts as a foil for Santa during the First Nonary Game- Santa is blunt and leads by being the most forceful personality in the room, while Snake is quiet, polite, and appeals to the other players’ sense of comradery to band everyone together to seek a way out.

That is not to say Santa is not effective as a leader. He succeeds in most of his plans by being manipulative, driven, and cunning. He ends up diverting attention away from himself as one of the game’s masterminds by acting the part of a bumbling punk with a short fuse, and always finds an excuse to pair with June so that none of the other characters will learn that they are not who they say they are (aka that the numbers on their bracelets are false). He’s a convincing actor, to the point that he is able to bluff his way through an escape by holding a gun to June’s head even after the characters have learned that June is Akane, his beloved sister. When he does have to do something directly, his approach is single-minded, and he does not mind cheating to get there. It is implied that he bankrolled the Second Nonary Game through stock manipulation, using his sister’s ability to see the future, for example. He also has this same mindset when he moves around physically, often rushing ahead of others and pushing and shoving to get to his goal.

One of Santa’s greatest traits is his willingness to sacrifice for those he cares about. He adopts the nickname ‘Santa’ as his alias in the game because of the childhood he spent using all of his resources to give his sister presents from ‘Santa’ without her realizing they were from him. The nine years between the first and second Nonary Games, he devotes himself to recreating the scenario that will allow Akane to survive; essentially, he sacrifices this portion of his life in order to bring his sister back to life. He also sacrifices his reputation and potential friendship with the other players, allowing them to believe he is Zero and that he was a villain, all so that Akane would not get blamed. As long as his sister is happy, Santa does not care what happens to himself.

The conflicting desires to save his sister and not make anyone else suffer through the same fate leave Santa with guilt tugging at him. He is capable of being as ruthless as he needs to be to get the job done, but as mentioned before, he does a lot of that by bluffing. When all the secrets of the game are revealed, the other players learn that although Santa set up the Cradle Pharmaceutical leaders to die, he has left the others (all victims or somehow related to the victims of the first game) a way to escape unharmed. As a child, he also ordered the five other children to escape the 9th Door while the older kids, who were more capable of pursing an alternate exit, stayed to await rescue from Seven, even though this left himself and his sister in danger. He generally wants the players (minus Ace) to survive, but has to place them in danger in order to fulfill the requirements to save Akane. He mostly keeps it hidden, but this conflict emerges when he warns Junpei not to trust anyone, and when he talks about his self-chosen nickname. His view on the Legend of the Two Santas is pretty telling of his emotional state. Where most people see a jolly gift-giving figure, Santa’s sees a ‘White Santa’ who becomes stained with blood to protect the innocents of the world, and a ‘Black Santa’, who takes revenge on evildoers. He questions which one best represents him, though the game designers hint at ‘both’ through his black-and-white wardrobe. Santa becomes a murderer (with Ace as his proxy) to protect his sister, but also ends up taking revenge on his sister’s murderers in the process (though he claims later that revenge was not the motive for the Second Nonary Game). In any case, adopting a nickname based on either of those figures is Santa’s way of acknowledging and accepting the blame for the sins he will commit.

In the few moments when Santa is not focused on being the puppet master, he teases the other characters, makes innuendo, and talks about gambling. Although some of this is to make the characters underestimate his intelligence and knowledge of the events going on, he does seem to generally enjoy getting a rise out of others, and he has a pervy sense of humor. The director of the game has confirmed that Santa is bisexual, so his teasing may also be serving as flirtation. He ‘gambles’ using the stock market in order to make money, but in phrasing it as ‘gambling’ rather than ‘stock broking’, it seems like more of a hobby. Once again, it may be to mask his intelligence that he refers to it that way, but it also suggests that he does get enjoyment from the thrill of the game.

In terms of relating with others, Santa prefers to keep others at a distance. He responds to others with a mixture of teasing, insults, and deflection, and keeps quiet about himself and his motivations. He would rather do a task himself than rely on someone else to do it for him. He may open up to someone he feels he can truly relate to (like Junpei, who is trying as hard as Santa is to save Akane), but it comes in hesitant bits and pieces unless he feels knowing something about him would predispose the other person to doing something Santa needs them to do. He relates most with orphans, those with siblings, and those with Esper powers. He will immediately dislike anyone who abuses the weak, and mistrusts authority figures until they go above and beyond to prove themselves to him.
Third-Person Sample: Another Side, Another Story event link

Mognet Sample:
Ok, I’ve seen some shit, but this is some FUCKED UP SHIT here. I get we’ve gotta solve some puzzles and get rid of this Calamity crap to get out of here, but, like, did anyone get any instructions or anything? Somebody’s gotta know something. Anyone get a secret note or a message or strange knowledge you can’t really account for suddenly appearing in your head?
If not, how about those Ancient assholes? Some of you losers can read their shit now. I wanna read those translations. Hit me up.
-Santa

Crystallis

Moogle Name: Crash Kupo

Moogle Gender: Male

First Job:Santa

Second Job:Gambler

Limit Break: Soporil- Santa reaches into a cargo pocket and pulls out a canister of Soporil, the miracle anesthetic gas. Santa opens the canister and throws it like a grenade. The enemies (and any allies in range) fall asleep, allowing Santa to escape. Depending on the exposure to the gas, the affected parties may experience temporary amnesia about the encounter when they awaken.

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