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[21stcenturyguy]

'sup?

Comments

audio | un: prince

[ripvanwinkled]

[ring ring...... ring ring.......... ring ring..... pick up, aoi, it's your best friend]

Aoi? I'd appreciate it if you made it known you're there, because I have a request for you.

Audio

[21stcenturyguy]

[Wow, Aoi didn't think it was possible for Snake to sound more pretentious than he does irl, but his phone voice is even worse.]

Man, what? Isn't Junpei your errand boy now, or did you scare him off already?

[ripvanwinkled]

[His phone voice is muffled by all the blankets he's pulled closer to him, just to make it worse. The man hasn't gotten out of bed.]

While Junpei is a... very dedicated roommate, there are some things I would not subject him to. You, on the other hand, are another person. A person I would hope is more qualified, but I'm not so sure...

There is a red light district in this city, if I heard correctly. That is not a place I'd like to get lost in, so I'd like you to scout for any places of interest.

[21stcenturyguy]

[Aoi growls at the implication that he's less qualified than Junpei for anything. And then Snake gets to the point.]

...wait, WHAT?

I mean, I'm totally qualified, like, no question. [Yes question.] But what the fuck are you look in' for in a pace like that?

[Like, he really doesn't wanna know what Snake's into, but he needs something to go on.]

[ripvanwinkled]

I don't think I like your emphasis on me. Last I recall, you had no interest in my interests other than what is useful. You have no idea what I might be into.

[This is a real conversation that is happening right now? Look at how far they've come.]

I don't have any interest in partaking what certain establishments have to offer, Aoi. I just hear there's an almost... unnatural draw to it, and since you're keen on finding out everything there is to know, I thought you the man for the job. But if you're going to be like this, I'm suppose I thought you less squeamish than you are...

[21stcenturyguy]

[Snake says he's not looking to go there, but Aoi's still kinda suspicious about his 'interests'.]

Hmph. You know if you ever do something stupid like cheat on Junpei, I'll kick your ass.

[He always figured that if he ever needed to give the shovel talk, it would be to Junpei about Akane, but life has not gone as planned at all, so here he is.]

But I'm not fuckin' squeamish, so don't even give me that shit! I'll go check it out since you're too lame to.

[ripvanwinkled]

[Snake would have had a great time calling himself a mastermind if his brain hadn't stopped working when Aoi said that there thing. Like it almost doesn't register that he's achieved his goal, he completely ignores the last thing he heard to backtrack.]

W... Wait, I'm sorry? I would have to be in a relationship with Junpei in order to cheat on him, first of all. What are you implying?

[21stcenturyguy]

Uh, that you're in a relationship with Junpei. [D'uh.] Look, I'm not as dumb as people think. You're not foolin' me.

[Aoi's not sure why Snake's acting like it's some big secret all of a sudden. He's been subjecting Aoi to unsolicited commentary of what Junpei's been cooking for him in the house they share.]

[ripvanwinkled]

[You can platonically talk about making a boy cook you dinner every night? Just because they've been out doing several things that would be dates doesn't mean they're dating!!]

Aoi, I'm not in a relationship with Junpei, as far as I know. He's just been guiding me around the city, and we live together, and share our meals together. It saves us time and money.

[This is... awkward. This is enough to make him sit up in bed, and that's really something.]

... He hasn't said anything, has he?

[21stcenturyguy]

[Wow, no wonder they're together. They're both idiots.

And don't think Aoi doesn't notice Snake's sudden guilty interest in what Junpei might've said. Not together, his ass!]

Uh huh. Well, I can't tell you what I've heard. Confidentiality between friends, you know how it is.

[Um, did he just call Junpei his friend? Weird. This whole conversation is weird. He's gonna stop the trolling and be staightish with Snake.]

Look, if you're trying to scout out a date site or get him a kinky present or something, I'll help you out, you just gotta tell me.

[ripvanwinkled]

But you have heard something.

[Great, now he's going to be all paranoid thanks to this guy. Since when are he and Junpei friends? How close are they? What did they say about him? Why does he think these things??]

I'm not trying to do either of those things. I don't even know if he knows he'd like any of those things. I was trying to help you out, not us out-- not not us out.

You're awful.

[21stcenturyguy]

Dude, calm down.

[It's not like Snake will believe him if he denies having heard something, but at least he's taking the high road here and not making up wild rumors to tell him. Aoi's not a terrible friend(?).]

But suuuuure, this is about me. I'll go and if I just happen to find something that might interest you and your platonic live-in 'friend', I should let you know?

[ripvanwinkled]

[Aoi's a terrible friend. Snake's going to be thinking about this all the time now, because he doesn't do anything with himself other than lay in bed and be useless.]

If you find anything of interest about the world we find ourselves in, you let me know. If you find anything you think is appropriate for the two of us, you should probably think again.

[21stcenturyguy]

[Um, Aoi's a great friend, trying to help his two loser friends hook up because they're too dumb to realize they wanna.]

Ok, so I won't tell you anything that might help you get into Junpei's pants, got it. These lips are sealed. Only the most academic information reporting for ya.

[ripvanwinkled]

Only academic reporting, yes. I don't want to hear about anything else.

[There's a long pause, where he could have just ended the call, but yet he lingers. Hmmmm.]

I don't need any help, but if you're truly compelled, text me. I don't want to hear that come out of your mouth.

[21stcenturyguy]

[That sounds like permission to text Snake all sorts of sex tips, at all hours of the day. The report on the red light district will have to wait until after he's explored it, but that doesn't mean he can't get started with the helping until Snake either breaks and admits he's dating Junpei or blocks Aoi's number.]